I have a long email drafted explaining the situation, but I still have yet to hit send. Scared to Tell Parents About OCD: I am a college student who, after more than a decade of knowing she has obsessive-compulsive disorder, has finally been diagnosed and is now taking medication for it-but my parents don’t know. If you said traditional wedding vows, you promised to “forsake all others.” In this case, you need to let your wife know what you specifically meant was “forsake her mother.” If this happens, you are facing possibly living with your mother-in-law for the next three decades. But you must resist the demands that she move in. You and your wife could offer to help her get some consulting through the National Foundation for Credit Counseling. Since she’s in her early 50s, she still has quite a way to go and she needs to be maximizing her earnings now in order to reap the greatest Social Security reward when she hits that milestone. Whatever her husband’s health status, your mother-in-law needs a comprehensive look at her financial situation so she can plan herself for her eventual retirement. I hope her “present husband” (nice touch!) has some life insurance. However tenuous your mother-in-law’s hold on independence is, she does work and live apart from you. But I’m afraid promises extracted from a child who’s under emotional duress are not enforceable. It is my intention to be myself, and him making comments or telling me he doesn’t want to go anywhere with me because of the way I dress is hurtful (as normal as it is).Ī few days ago, I discussed these “lessons” I was trying to teach him with a friend and she told me he would “take all these lessons and bake them into a gentleman pie.” I really hope she is right.A: Apparently since giving birth to her only child, your mother-in-law’s retirement plan has consisted of being supported by her daughter. But I also love wearing dresses, heels, skinny jeans, and trying out new trends because that is who I am, and who I was long before I became his mother. I loved the outfits he picked for me, and dress like that on my own accord often. I also want my son to realize just because I am a mother it doesn’t mean I have to dress a certain way. No matter how you see her, she deserves respect. There is a way to look at a woman without staring or gawking. And he should always take heed on how he looks at people, especially women. I also let him know what someone puts on their body isn’t an invitation, for him or anyone else, ever. If he feels like wearing something, even though none of his peers are, I want him to feel like he can. However, I want him to have the inner confidence to step out of the box if he wants. If he is comfortable dressing in a way that makes him feel like he blends in, I think that is great. I told him judging people for what they wear is very transparent, and he will be missing out on a lot in life if he is going to focus on making friends because of what they wear, what they have, or what they look like.
We focus on how they make us feel, if they are kind, how they treat people. It doesn’t matter where it came from because this isn’t how we judge others. Most people wear what they are comfortable in, what makes them feel good. Regardless, I told him nobody should be judged based on how they dress - not even your very embarrassing mother. If he only knew how many women I saw throughout the day wearing suits and heels maybe he would have a different opinion. When I asked my son why he picked this out, he said because I “blended in and didn’t look out of place.” In his mind, when I dress up, I look like I don’t belong. Sometimes I feel like dressing up more, so I do. While I dress like this about half the time and like this look, it doesn’t always suit me.